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The Intersection of Kink, Healing & Disability

reflected landscape shown upside down, challenging our perceptions

Our May KPACT presenter, carrie sarah kaufman, shared with us a poem she wrote on the intersection of kink, healing and disability.

I
have been so conditioned to give care if i want to receive it.  
To
betray myself to meet my needs.
Disabled,
i have heard
I
am a burden in every relationship.

Wheelchair
Mommy with chronic pain 
I
know the power in my vulnerability
I
know the wisdom of needing
The
importance of the breath
To
domme while disabled is to discover, with play, what it could mean to break the cycles that hurt

Through
exchange I shed the lie of my weight.  
I
know I am more than my needs.
Divine
and soft
Femme,
bending in any direction
Receiving
as power
Magic
as control

I
expect to exercise the muscles of care
Without
being taken for granted.
I
provide the space for surrender to me
And
I am given what i want.

— carrie sarah kaufman 

carrie sarah kaufman is a queer, multiply disabled, white, Jewish femme. She is a kitchen witch, a plant mama, an artist, a survivor, and a work in progress. Her creative work explores disabled embodiment, sexuality and intimacy as well as themes in Jewish magic and spirituality. ck advocates for disabled survivors by talking to service providers about some of the barriers that disabled people face in accessing support.  She also writes and speaks about the need for pleasure based sexual health information for people with disabilities of all ages.

About Cindy Trawinski, Psy.D.

Cindy Trawinski, PsyD, is a licensed clinical psychologist, a Diplomate in Process-oriented Psychology (also known as Process Work) and a certified Imago Relationship Therapist. She is a founding partner of LifeWorks Psychotherapy Center and North Shore Psychotherapy Associates and has offices in Skokie, IL. Cindy is the former CEO of the Process Work Institute, in Portland, OR and a member of the International Association of Process-oriented Psychology (IAPOP), in Zurich, Switzerland. Cindy is a frequent speaker on topics including: Diversity and Multicultural Issues; Sex Positivity; Rank & Power; Therapist Bias; and Polyamory.

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